Last night at Bible study, we were talking about forgiving ourselves and others. I had to admit that I do not have a forgiving spirit. It's very difficult for me to forgive. It seems to me that forgiving implies a certain amount of trust. If I forgive that person, then I have to trust them again. If I trust them again, then they will hurt me again. And nobody wants to be hurt again and again so if I don't forgive, then I don't have to trust. Right?
Actually, NO, not right! We teach in our Hope workshop that forgiveness is NOT forgetting. The old saying "forgive and forget" is not what needs to be done. Jud forgive. You don't have to forget. Forgiving is not condoning the other person did to you. It is not saying "oh, it's ok. Here hit me (or whatever) again." What it is saying is that I'm letting the anger and hatred out of my heart. We don't forgive for the other person. Often, as in the case with child abuse, the other person doesn't think they need to be forgiven. They won't admit that they did anything wrong. Forgiveness is for ourselves. We have to forgive that person for the mean, evil things they did or said, in order to get the hatred out of our own hearts.
When we leave hatred in our own hearts, it turns in to infection in our lives. Have you ever seen a wound that either wasn't cared for or was picked at over and over until it became infected. It build up a thick, gooey pus that turns yellow and green until until it spreads to other parts of the body. That's what hatred without forgiveness does. it gets infected and builds up until it infect the whole body and our entire life. We've got to cut it open and let the infected pus drain out. That's why we have to forgive. In order to let that disgusting infection leave our mind and our hearts. We will not be whole and healthy until we forgive.
No one says forgiving is easy, especially not me. Jesus tells us in Mark 11:25, "if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses." We want, often expect, Jesus to forgive us of our sins. After all, that's why He died, right? Yes, He did die for or sins but He still expects us to forgive others even to 7 times 70. (Matthew 18:21-22)
Jesus knows what's best for us. He wouldn't have told us to forgive others if it wasn't to our benefit. Yes, forgiving others is the "Christan" thing to do but it's also the healthy thing to do. As I said, forgiving is not something that is easy for me to do. I have to work at it. I have to rely on Jesus to give me the strength (Phil. 4:13) that I need to forgive those who have hurt me. It's not an easy thing to do but it is worthwhile and, with Christ's help, I can and do, forgive others.
Actually, NO, not right! We teach in our Hope workshop that forgiveness is NOT forgetting. The old saying "forgive and forget" is not what needs to be done. Jud forgive. You don't have to forget. Forgiving is not condoning the other person did to you. It is not saying "oh, it's ok. Here hit me (or whatever) again." What it is saying is that I'm letting the anger and hatred out of my heart. We don't forgive for the other person. Often, as in the case with child abuse, the other person doesn't think they need to be forgiven. They won't admit that they did anything wrong. Forgiveness is for ourselves. We have to forgive that person for the mean, evil things they did or said, in order to get the hatred out of our own hearts.
When we leave hatred in our own hearts, it turns in to infection in our lives. Have you ever seen a wound that either wasn't cared for or was picked at over and over until it became infected. It build up a thick, gooey pus that turns yellow and green until until it spreads to other parts of the body. That's what hatred without forgiveness does. it gets infected and builds up until it infect the whole body and our entire life. We've got to cut it open and let the infected pus drain out. That's why we have to forgive. In order to let that disgusting infection leave our mind and our hearts. We will not be whole and healthy until we forgive.
No one says forgiving is easy, especially not me. Jesus tells us in Mark 11:25, "if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses." We want, often expect, Jesus to forgive us of our sins. After all, that's why He died, right? Yes, He did die for or sins but He still expects us to forgive others even to 7 times 70. (Matthew 18:21-22)
Jesus knows what's best for us. He wouldn't have told us to forgive others if it wasn't to our benefit. Yes, forgiving others is the "Christan" thing to do but it's also the healthy thing to do. As I said, forgiving is not something that is easy for me to do. I have to work at it. I have to rely on Jesus to give me the strength (Phil. 4:13) that I need to forgive those who have hurt me. It's not an easy thing to do but it is worthwhile and, with Christ's help, I can and do, forgive others.
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